The Ups and Downs

As I'm walking through this certain stage of life, I enjoy hearing other people's stories of their own journeys through adoption. I asked J the other day if he was leaning more toward international adoption or domestic adoption. To my surprise, he said domestic. I guess it surprised me so much because I was the exact opposite...leaning toward international, but still open to domestic. Believe me, we have been in some serious prayer about this over the past two years. And now, here we are in November 2009, and we feel that it is time to actively pursue adoption. Obviously, domestic adoption is so much less expensive than international adoption. If we had $40,000 at our expense, we'd probably seek international alone. But, alas, we are just working class in America, doing the best we can with what God has given us. So we will continue to earnestly pray that God will open and close doors as we choose international or domestic adoption.

I have found that as I experience certain stages in my life, it's always comforting to hear about other people who have walked in my shoes. But I'm reaching the point of exhaustion, maybe even frustration, as I am continually told about the horror stories of adoption. It's like my friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer, and all of the people that informed her of their friends/family members who had died of breast cancer. Encouraging, huh? Just like her, I know the good, bad and the ugly. I have researched this, almost to the point of overkill. I've heard enough horror stories to last a lifetime. I know that we could pay money to aid a teenage girl's pregnancy, only to have her back out once the baby is born. I know that we won't know the baby's entire medical history. I know that a parent can take back their parental rights at the last minute. I know all of these facts, and more! But that still does not change the fact that God has called us to it! We will continue to put one foot in front of the other as long as God leads us. It may be a short time, or it may be a long time before we see the new member of our family. But God is working on our hearts and minds every day, preparing us for that moment. At least twice a day N says, "Someday, when I have a brother..." or "Someday, when I have a sister..." He is so ready to welcome a sibling into our family. He's going to be a great big brother! But until that time.....we are waiting on God....